Как начать Small Talk?

Today, soft skills, which include communication skills with employers, partners, or colleagues, often take precedence over even extensive professional experience or a narrow specialization. We will analyze where to start communication so that it gives impetus to a successful professional start.

What is small talk and why is it necessary?

Many people have heard of the concept of small talk. For post-Soviet countries, including Ukraine, small talk was an incomprehensible phenomenon for a long time. The reason for this was the mentality and culture of communication in a professional environment.

However, with globalization and open borders, the way people communicate has also changed. People from Eastern Europe, who are not used to making “small talk,” now have a different attitude toward it, thanks to which it has become easier to build trusting relationships with Western partners.

Often small talk implies an informal short conversation, which serves for establishing a common connection, we also call it common ground. It is a bridge to a more specific conversation. People from the CIS and Eastern Europe prefer to skip unnecessary formalities and switch to “business” as quickly as possible. However, very often this so-called “pre-contact” lays the foundation for long-term cooperation.
It would seem, how can a two-minute dialogue about the weather or morning traffic help an entrepreneur win over an investor or help a newcomer in a company create a good impression of themselves?
The point is that the impression of an employee is formed not only on the basis of their professional skills – hard skills, but also communication – soft skills.
How a person can start a conversation, tune someone to their wavelength, is a big factor in cooperation, because this is what allows you to create a pleasant impression of the conversation with you. According to our psychology, we tend to trust pleasant people.
For Europeans and Americans, asking about an upcoming report at the beginning of a conversation is like jumping into cold water: unpleasant and stressful. After all, it is much more pleasant to start a business conversation by exchanging short phrases about yesterday’s football match, a series on Netflix or a newly opened coffee shop near the office. Thanks to small talk, the interlocutors create a favorable atmosphere for further conversation and thus smoothly move on to the essence of the matter.

Taboo topics for small talk

Even if you don’t know much about each other’s interests, you can always talk about the weekend or a movie premiere and find points of connection. During small talk, attentiveness, active listening and genuine interest in what is said are also important. However, not every topic is suitable for small talk. You should avoid such topics as:

Such topics are sometimes sharp, and sometimes too delicate, and in some cases can provoke conflicts. Let’s take, for example, elections in the United States — a topic that is actively discussed not only by Americans. Imagine that you are a staunch supporter of the Republicans and want to convince your interlocutor of the only correct choice, while your colleague adheres to the opposite position, voting for the Democrats. In this case, you risk turning an informal conversation into political debates that will leave an unpleasant aftertaste and place you and your conversation partner on opposite sides of the barricades.

In what style to conduct small talk?

Small talk prepares fertile ground for a business conversation and has the goal to win over the interlocutor, therefore too tricky topics for discussion will be inappropriate. Starting small talk whether with a colleague or with a boss, you should still remember about subordination and the appropriate style of communication. And this means that asking about the personal life of the interlocutor or using a manner of communication similar to talking with an old friend at a bar will be considered bad manners.

Let’s consider two examples of small talk:

Option 1	Option 2
So you don’t have children yet? Так, а детей у вас нет еще?	How is your renovation going? Are you excited to move into a new office? Как продвигается ваш ремонт? Вы уже в предвкушении переехать в новый офис?

The first option is maximally incorrect, no matter how good friends you are. Such personal questions in this form speak not only about your bad manners, but can also cause the interlocutor discomfort or even upset them. After all, the topic of family, particularly children, is very delicate.
A conversation that starts with a question about renovation looks completely different, if this topic has already come up earlier. Such a conversation is neutral and does not touch personal feelings, and you can always joke about a long-lasting renovation.
However, when starting small talk, you need to carefully approach any question, because not knowing the personal context of a person, you may hit a sore spot.

Topics for small talk

If you have just started exploring the art of “small talk”, start the dialogue with the simplest questions. There are a number of fail-safe topics, most suitable for small talk:

1. Weather

Nothing is easier than starting a conversation about the unbearable heat outside or learning a little more about the climate of your partners if it differs from your region.

Well, it’s hot today, isn’t it? Who would have thought it could be so hot!

Oh it’s so hot today, isn’t it? I could have never thought that it can be so hot!

Is it true that during the whole year the temperature does not drop below 10 degrees?	Is it true that during the whole year the temperature does not drop below 10 degrees?
Yes, in my entire life I cannot remember anything like that. Usually at this time of year we have +15 degrees.	Yes, in my entire life I cannot remember anything like that. Usually it’s about 15 degrees at this time of the year.

Well, I hope our today’s event will help us slightly distract from thoughts about the heat. Let’s get started quickly!

Well, I hope today’s event will help us get distracted from the thoughts about heat. So let’s get started!

2. Leisure, pastimes

Even if you are not very familiar with your colleague/partner, a great way to start a conversation is to ask about hobbies, weekend activities, interests.

Did you watch yesterday’s football match?

Have you watched the football match yesterday?

However, such events do not happen every day, and you do not always know what your interlocutor likes. Then you can ask more generally or start the conversation by talking about yourself.

How was your weekend? or Yesterday I went with friends to play tennis. It turns out there is a great court nearby. Have you been there?

How was your weekend? or Yesterday I went to play tennis with my friends. It turns out that there is a great court nearby. You haven’t been there?

Of course! I went to the stadium with my friend! How did you like the first half?	Sure! I even went to the stadium with my friend! How do you find the first half?
Great! We also planned with friends, but in a pub. How did you like the atmosphere on the field?	Great! I watched it also with my friends, but in a pub. How do you like the atmosphere on the field?

It is also appropriate to go deeper into the topic, share experience, or highlight common interests with the interlocutor.

On weekends, my boyfriend and I also prefer active leisure. And by the way, we also love tennis. How long have you been playing?

On weekends, my boyfriend and I also prefer outdoor activities. And by the way, we also adore tennis. How long have you been playing tennis?

Well, after such an eventful evening/weekend, it’s time to get into work. or So, be sure to visit this tennis club, you won’t regret it. Meanwhile, I’d like to ask you about …

Well, after such an exciting evening / weekend, it’s time to get into work. or So, be sure to visit this tennis club, you won’t regret it. And in the meantime, I would like to ask you about …

3. Music, literature, cinema, art

A conversation on a cultural topic will create a good foundation for further dialogue. It will slightly distract the interlocutor from work, thereby relaxing them.

I recently finished reading “Grit: How to Develop the Main Quality of Successful People” by Angela Duckworth. Have you heard of this book?

I’ve just finished reading ‘Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance’ by Angela Duckworth. Have you heard of this book?

I’ve heard of this book, but I haven’t gotten to it yet. What impressed you the most? This book was third in my list of business literature for this year. I got several powerful insights that changed the way I look at obstacles.

I’ve heard of this book but I can’t get to it. What impressed you the most? It was number 3 in my Business Literature list for this year. And I must say it’s given me a few valuable insights that changed the way I see obstacles.

So, I highly recommend reading this book. Very useful for specialists in our field. By the way, speaking about the field of activity, I wanted to clarify about …

So I highly recommend reading this book. It is very informative for specialists like us. By the way, speaking about our field of activity, I would like to clarify about …

4. Work

Even the professional field can become a reason for small talk. You can learn about each other’s previous experience or ask how long you have been working in a particular area.

What an interesting profession you have! Probably, you studied a lot to master it? or You have great projects. How long have you been doing this?

What an interesting profession you have! Probably, you studied a lot to master it? or You create great projects! How long have you been doing it?

— I heard that project managers work 24/7 and clients never leave them alone. Is it true? — That’s not quite so. Usually, business clients have a sense of tact and understand that everyone needs rest.

— I’ve heard that project managers work 24/7 and clients never leave them alone. It’s true? — Well, this is not entirely true. As a rule, business clients have a sense of tact and understand that everyone needs to rest.

I see you are really knowledgeable. That is why I approached you. Here is a project I need to bring to life…

I see you are really good at it. That is why I appealed to you. So here is the kind of project I need to bring to life …

How to support a conversation?

Having chosen a neutral topic for small talk, it is important to not only ask the question correctly, but also develop the conversation further. For this, interlocutors should be maximally “engaged” in the conversation and rely on each other’s answers.
Let’s look at two examples on the same topic, but with different dialogue development.

Option 1

Option 2

— Have you seen the latest premiere with DiCaprio? (Have you seen the last premiere with DiCaprio?) — Yes, a great movie. I really liked it! (Yes, it’s a great movie. I really liked it!) — So did I. (So did I.)

— How do you like the latest premiere with DiCaprio? Have you seen it already? (How do you like the latest premiere with DiCaprio? Have you seen it already?) — Yes, a great movie. I really liked it! By the way, as far as I know, it’s based on real events. What movies of the same genre would you recommend? (Yes, a great movie. I really liked it! By the way, as far as I know, it’s based on real events. What movies of the same genre would you recommend?)

In the example of the first small talk, we see how the dialogue reached a dead end and was limited to a few phrases. The second case shows how from the same starting point a full conversation can be developed simply by asking an additional open question. Moreover, when the topic arouses strong interest in both, small talk will develop naturally.

Conclusion

Small talk is a rather unusual phenomenon for the Russian-speaking community, but it is rapidly gaining popularity in the corporate communication environment. At first glance, it is just a small talk about minor things. However, this is only the tip of the iceberg.
The benefit of Small talk goes much deeper.

It can be compared to an appetizer that enhances appetite before the main course. Start an interview or a dialogue with the boss with Small Talk, and you will see how easily further communication will go.
Need more practice and feel a lack of vocabulary? Join our conversation course Fluent English and boost your Small Talk building skill!